I live in a rented house, but that doesn’t stop the landlord from charging coins on the machine. Jerky, yes, but that’s not the point. Given the bitterly cold temperatures of the last couple days, the metal on the coin slot froze inside the machine and would not pull out. The thing’s been stubborn for quite some time, but never like tonight. I fought it for ten, maybe even fifteen minutes; it would not budge. The roommate twice my size vetoed my admittedly dumb-idea of whacking it with a hammer, and in response to my “Got any better ideas?” came downstairs and fought with it for a bit with no luck.
And then it hit me: a hot air dryer! If the coin machine was stuck because of the cold, maybe warming it up would work!
Me: “Hey, big roommate, does anyone have a hot air dryer?”
Visiting friend: “Unfortunately, you live in a house full of guys.”
Me: “Yeah, well, surely somebody’s mother made them take one freshman year and it’s still lying around.” “
Big Roommate: “Yeah, that would be me.”
Me: “Can I use it?”
Me: “Want me to use the hammer?”
BR: “Blow-dryer’s under my bed.”
BR #2: “That is the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard.”
Me: “Got any better ideas?”
VF: “I feel like that’s probably said in the White House a lot… Bush pitches out his dumb policy, and asks if anyone’s got any better ideas.”
Me: “Yeah, well, that’s why I keep you guys around instead of yes-men, we should be able to come up with something.
BR: “Go back to your basement!!!”
Me: “I call you smarter than Karl Rove, and that’s the thanks I get?”
So, I trundle back to my basement and realize the blow dryer cord isn’t long enough. After a long but successful search for an extension cord, VF says, “Man, for your sake I really hope this works.” Well, no, it won’t, but again, you got any better ideas? So I aim it at the coin slot for a few minutes, and start pulling on the slot again. After a few tugs, YANK! The slot comes back out and the dryer starts. Why? Because I! Am! A! Genius!
Now, after reading this, tell me – are you wishing for your five minutes back?